Harmony, happiness, and joy

Mothers are often seen just as mothers, maybe we are seen as nurturers, care givers, but no one really considers the many jobs that we actually do each and every day.  Nurse, counsellor, housekeeper, maid (yes those are two completely different categories), chef, life coach, organizer, dry cleaner, private investigator (to find everything they have once again misplaced), chauffeur, event planner, meal planner, manager, representative, personal shopper, entertainer, drill sergeant, negotiator, referee, girl Friday, sister, daughter, wife, lover, friend, and that’s just a few cause we all know that there are so many more.  Today or rather this morning I got to fulfill my negotiator and referee job duties.  Not to mention all the other jobs the morning routine requires.  It all unfolded quite innocently, 5 was getting ready for school and as per usual got her uniform (4 and 5 wear Catholic style uniforms to school every day meaning navy blue skirts or dresses even though they attend public school, they are able to choose their own tights and shirts, why? That’s a conversation for another day) and her tights.  When she got her tights 4 protested those are mine get your own! And so it began….I had to remind them that there were many pairs and no one belonged to anyone person.  Then 5 decided that she would not give her sister the tights and so the first battle began.  I gave 5 a pair of tights and 4 a pair believing that I had eliminated the problem and went back to getting 6 and 7 ready.  But that was far from the truth. 5 got dressed and decided that she would go to 3 and start an issue.  3 is always 5’s go to person when she has angst to release, he always is ready to take on any foolishness that she brings on and her requirement for conflict will be fulfilled.  So as it has been in the past, it was this morning and next thing I hear is 3’s voice yelling 5! And so I, knowing how this all works put on my referee hat and went to the two of them.  Only to find out the argument actually had nothing to do with 3 but he of course had to intervene when 5 was involved.  I removed 5 from the issue and took her upstairs and put on my negotiator/counsellor hat and began…..5 you need to learn how to not take your angst out on people that truly have nothing to do with the issue.  You’re upset about the tights alright but there is no need to take it out on those who have nothing to do with it was the gist of our conversation.  Then with the same hat I went to 3 and had a similar conversation with a few variants.  I told him he needs be aware of when his sister comes into his space with an energy that is negative, that is trying to bait him, trying to pull him from his space into hers, he must be aware and stop it and as I told him this I considered that as mom I have to do this every day, well not just as a mom but a woman, a person every day.  I know 5 and I know that she likes to pull others into her space when she is upset and desires energy from others. And I have learned to deal with her and how to diffuse her.  This is a lesson I believe that not only my children we need to learn but all of us do.  We must always ensure that we do not allow others to pull us into their world but that we pull them into ours.  Now of course if we all do this then we will always be tugging each other but I am referring to negativity not positivity.  Positivity does not compete, positivity from various sources can always exist in the same space but negativity tries to overtake a positive space and this is what I am referring to here.  When someone is negative and we know that is how they are we must walk into that space with an energy that refuses to allow that energy to overtake our own.  We must overtake their energy, we must take that negative and create a positive just as I told my son.  He knows his sister and he knows that when she is upset she is going to come for him so he must not give in but treat her with kindness, happiness, and joy and he must not let her change who and what he is for her own purposes.  And I can hear him right now, but she’s so annoying!! And my response, I understand that but you have to resist that and stand your ground and you will see that in the future she will come to you to make herself feel better instead of helping her to feel worse.  We can all be victims to emotional vampires (yes I did just call my child an emotional vampire, harsh? Maybe…. but we all fall victim to that role at times, it is not who she is but it is a role she likes to play sometimes not a slight to her but a mother’s required truthful honesty about her child), people who come to suck your emotional energy out of you for their own gain, but we must find a way to handle it and the only way is to own the spaces that you enter.  When we walk into a space that we know will have negative energy in it we must walk into it with the understanding that that is the case and also with our own positive energy firmly in place.  We must stand tall and with confidence in the understanding that we will not allow that energy to take over this space as we have already filled it with our energy and there is no longer any room for that negativity.  That we have already decided what will live here and as time moves we will see that that negative energy will do one of two things, conform to the energy in the room or it will find another place to reside.  In both scenarios you have rid yourself of that energy.  Living in the negative is not healthy for anyone and allowing someone else to force you to live in the negative isn’t either.  So we must try to maintain harmony, joy, and happiness and yes I know I sound like a hallmark card or something but it is truly the truth.  And personally when I relate this to my own household, I have 7 children! If I do not promote joy, happiness, and harmony between all of them I will have true chaos in my home and my life and I will be writing these posts from a mental institution LOL.  So in the interest of my mental sanity and household harmony I stand by all I have said here even if I have ran the risk of sounding like an idealist, life isn’t perfect I know but it is perfectly suited for seeking perfection so why not? Just another day in 7th heaven, tomorrow is another day.  Until Next time, be well.

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