Reflection

Today is a….reflective day for me.  Today I am reflecting on my experience.  I have not said much about what I have been through in my relationship and as time goes on I will reveal more but today it is on my mind.  I am trying to understand, to wrap my mind around what has happened to me and more so why is it that society appears so complacent in the abuse of a woman at the hands of a man, her husband or boyfriend, or otherwise.  Why is the stance silence? I have left my abuser and am very happy for it, yet I am treated as the leper, I am treated as if I have done him wrong and he is left to be the victor, left to abuse another because he is not being reigned in in any way but that is not what I wanted this to be about really, so I will save that for another day, my issue is why does he believe and try to control my life even though he should no longer able.  Does our one tie, our children, allow him to attempt to always stop me from living my life?  I will not let him. We live in a world where the standards for men and women are different, I understand that but must a man be allowed to take it to the extremes? Is it sensible to say that a woman is not allowed to be anything but a mother once she becomes one? She must always and forever take on that role and do nothing else, she cannot go out, she cannot go on vacation, she cannot date (when she is single of course), she cannot have a life that does not include her children? This is an issue I think we as women have, when we become mothers the weight of that title is so heavy and truly serious.  The world wants us to be only that and it fails to see that before we were mothers we were people, we had names, identities.  Now surely we must be mothers and care for our children but we do, we take care of our children but when we get a sitter and they are cared for then what? Sure we go to our girls night and they are filled with cute stories about our children, have we really gotten away? LOL.  As they get older we appreciate time away much better.  I am in that phase, I am in a place where I now enjoy my times away but call in every hour to ensure that they are alright to the point where my children don’t want to speak to me as they have their own things to do.  Brief conversations where they say they are alright and pass the phone to the next one but while that makes me feel as a mother less important it also lets me know that they are alright and that the world does not fall into itself when I am gone, they make it and I can go out and be me without retribution or issue.  As mother it is alright to take a moment, to have a girls night, to have a vacation, free from guilt or ill feelings.  As long as we ensure that our children are properly cared for then we are alright, we have done alright and we need to remember that.   So mom’s enjoy being a mom and enjoy being you because without you there is no mom.  Just another day in 7th heaven, tomorrow is another day.  Until next time, be well.

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