Smh @ Gwyneth

So it has been all over the news, Gwyneth Paltrow has made a comment that has mothers, women, and men all over the world up in arms, others not so much, some say she put her foot in it others don’t see what all the fuss is. So what did she say? Well….here it is:

“I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

Personally I do not really “follow” what Gwyneth does, that being said I have now been made aware that her fan base is very marginalized, there are some that love her and some that hate her. She is known for being pretentious, judgemental, out of touch and that’s just a few of the attributes attributed to her. Until she made this comment Gwyneth wasn’t even on my radar but this comment has put her completely in my cipher and so my 2 cents on her comment….well here we go. Now first I will say that nothing happens in a vacuum and in Gwyneth’s world this comment makes full sense she is lost in a world many of us could only dream of and certainly cannot comprehend we are as out of touch with her world as she clearly is with ours. The difference may be that we are more sympathetic then she is but I digress…. Gwyneth didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in her mouth, no there were two spoons and they weren’t made of silver, no they were made of pure gold. She has no idea about the world of the mother with an office job, she has no idea about the life of the typical working mom. Granted we have to give it to Gwyneth by definition she is a working mom, she works and she is a mom but is she really…..a working…mom? No not at all. Gwyneth has the ability to choose to be a working mom she could just be a mom if she chooses and when Gwyneth works she only does so once a year. Gwyneth does one movie a year so her two weeks away from her children is the brunt of her absence and therein ends the difficulties that she faces as a working mother. In the world outside of Gwyneth’s bubble, you know what we call the real world, where the rest of us live we don’t get the options and opportunities that Gwyneth’s life affords her. And truly one thing that I do not like to do is compare motherhoods to motherhoods. I believe that as mothers we all have our experiences we each have our rises and falls, our hardships and triumphs and these occur regardless of the number of children we have or our economic statuses but Gwyneth has brought this to me. She is comparing her life to mine, to yours, to the life of the “regular” mother, the daily working mother, the single mother, the stay at home mother who doesn’t have Gwyneth’s bank account and lifestyle, the military mother, the ill mother, the mother dealing with her special needs child, the mother with multiples, the mother with fill in the blank and repeat and the difference is so vast that a comparison, a comment must be made here. Now Gwyneth is right in saying that the life of the working mother is routine, we all must have routines because without them chaos will occur and so we all have routines, and yes we do them in the mornings and then again in the evening? NO shit!? Because in between we aren’t on set for 2 weeks! We are at work, and have to remain there for the entire day until in the evening when we start our evening routine. It’s not like we do the morning routine and hang out in our million dollar house for the day and then start our evening routine. We don’t get to choose which million dollar movie we choose to do this year and work for a period of time and then not work, no we work daily Monday to Friday, 9-5 if we are lucky. Many of us working mothers have to work longer weeks and longer days not to mention the job of being a mother which is by definition a 25 hours a day 8 days a week job! We don’t have nannies, maids and rock star husbands to take the brunt of our lives. Gwyneth doesn’t need to worry about her two parent family not making ends meet, or now that she is “separated” from her husband being the single mom. She will never have to worry about getting a second job in order to make ends still not meet! How could her life compare to the life of the typical mother?! She works 14 hour days? Yes she does no doubt but she doesn’t do that 365, NO! She does it for a period of time, and she doesn’t have to! If she chooses to quit her job today she will never have to worry again! Many working mothers work 14 hour days, because they have to, and they do it 365! Not 14! They aren’t living in a world of choice, no they are living in a world of necessity and that makes it much more stressful and harder than Gwyneth’s situation. And she is right a typical mother isn’t like being on set, we do not have people catering to us at work, we don’t get to say I need and want a break and I am taking it I do not care about what you say, and be able to say that without worrying that our jobs would be in jeopardy and/or our pay for the day reduced. We aren’t at work considering that the bills need to be paid and while we are at work we aren’t really sure how it is all going to get done or being at work and wishing we could be home instead but work while we may enjoy it is a necessity, and I can list much more but in the end I am sure that the life of a working mother is nothing like being on set and its not because the life of a working mother is easier than that of the mother on set. Her comment of “of course there are challenges” sounded so condescending…..are you serious?! The issue is that she really doesn’t see how she offended mothers by her comment. “Of course there are challenges”? You call being a military mother and being away from your children for 9 months out of the year if you are lucky, simply a challenge? Being a single mother with a less than ideal job who doesn’t eat tonight because she would rather her children have the food simply a challenge? A working mother who has two jobs, starts her first job at 7 am ends it at 5pm comes home at 6pm spends an hour with her children so that she can get to her second job at 7pm and works until 12 midnight simply a challenge? Or the working mother who has a full time job and can afford the necessities but if any day became a rainy day she would be screwed simply a challenge? How about the mother who is making ends meet but in order to do so her 14 hour day keeps her from her children that is…..simply a challenge? Or the working mother who is making ends meet but can only do so because she has a good job and losing her job doesn’t mean she gets a hiatus but that she must quickly find another because her job is a necessity to maintaining her life not a choice again is that simply a challenge? And I am sure there are many other scenarios that can be questioned as simply a challenge. Gwyneth changed the definition of challenge in that sentence, she made it seem like a challenge is a walk in the park something to not be really concerned about because sure there are challenges but the life of the working mother is much easier than having a million dollar house, a rock star husband, nannies, maids, an optional job, a bank account that would take a true feat to bankrupt, and all of the other perks that come along with being Ms. Gwyneth Paltrow Martin. Has me wondering if one of my favourite songs by Cold Play, Fix You was a message/cry from Chris Martin for change. Just kidding….kinda. *smile* Now I still stand by my statement that mothers should not judge each other even though I have 7 I still look at other mothers and applaud them. I still see the plight of the mother with 1 or 2 or 3, or one of my greatest fears and mothers I bow to everyday multiples, we all have our own motherhood story and life to live and maintain but what Gwyneth has said here has laid her in the town square to be tarred and feathered and I have been reserved here because truly my first feeling was how dare you!? And a few other words that should not be mentioned here. *smile* I do not understand those who have defended her, one persons argument that she cannot go to the grocery store or walk down the street and my thought is really THAT is why her life is harder than the working mom? That makes her statement valid? I don’t see that being a valid defence because while that is true her life can in no way be compared to that of the typical mother there is more to working motherhood then being able to go to the grocery store and in the end Gwyneth’s only defense here is that she is truly clueless, she really does not understand what she has said here, why women, want, to tar and feather her for this, she is so out of touch with the world beyond her glass house (she really lives in one LOL) that she can’t see herself as the world sees her nor can she see the world as it is for others because she has never had such a perspective. Now please do not get me wrong, I am in no way defending Gwyneth here I am just ensuring that where she is coming from is understood, I believe that having money and privilege shouldn’t make you clueless, insensitive, lack empathy, or make stupid statements. She should fully understand that the world that she lives in is in no way the world that most people in this world live in but she really doesn’t and her ignorance of that is inexcusable. Truly Gwyneth could use a real cold dose of reality, it would do her well, bring her down a serious amount of notches because she needs it. We should all be sympathetic to the plight of others, we should always find a way to relate, understand, and empathize with others. We must not judge others and the way that they live or….truly anything for that matter. We have not walked in their shoes and we therefore have no right to judge them nor do we have the right to dictate how they must walk in those shoes. As I said earlier I did not understand why the world disliked Gwyneth, I didn’t pay enough attention to her to find out but if this statement is any indication of the shit that can spew out of her mouth then I fully understand now and understand why she has “fans” that are less than impressed by her that call her pretentious, insensitive, and out of touch. So! That is my Gwyneth rant and I apologize for the length if it is too long for some of you but sometimes I tend to get long winded LOL. Just another day in 7th heaven, tomorrow is another day. Until next time, be well.

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